The Editorial We
by Le Sabre, Invicta and Electra

Electra Hemingray

My mother said she named me after the daughter of Clytemnestra and Agamemnon of Greek mythology, and this may have been true—but I find it hard to put aside the fact that daddy's first new car was a Buick Electra, purchased the year I was born—1959. He wasn't very musical but my earliest memories are of him singing bits of an old Buick jingle while he worked in the garage:

"Le Sabre, Invicta, E-leccc-tra—Buick, THE car!

For the longest time I thought he was singing about me and that my middle name was Buick. Imagine my surprise when I came to work for the Gazette and found Wanda Le Sabre and Minerva Invicta already on staff—and neither with any apparent automotively induced role confusion. We won't get into it in any depth, but daddy's bank account barely stayed ahead of my therapy bills during my adolescence. I still get wet when I hear expressions like 'twin turbine torque converter'. By the time I was on my own, I had brought the transference full circle and re-entrenched my sexual priorities where they belonged - in an Alfa Romeo (and my own private mechanic, Antonio Le Rocca).

It was Wanda's idea to call this issue Hooters and Honkers—think she was getting even with Ernie Junior for his comment that 'romance literature' was an oxymoron. If anyone should know about oxymorons, it's Ernie—ask him about his journalistic integrity or professional courtesy. But I don't mean to get off on an Ernie slag—I'll leave that to Wanda!

Wanda Le Sabre

Don't get me started on Ernie—we'll be here all day. Besides, I'm a firm believer in the expression, "Don't bite the foot that stomps your grapes." I'm the first to admit I've got a cushy number as fiction editor and I wouldn't want to rock the boat too much. Am I mixing metaphors? No matter. When I was young, we called cars like Buicks 'boats'—and my knowledge of those babies is limited pretty much to the back seat. As for being named after cars, Le Sabre is the monicker of my ex-husband—the best thing he ever gave me, it turns out. I always thought it would make a good stage name for a stripper, should literary journalism ever let me down.

Hooters and Honkers is the name of a sleazy pretense of an automotive magazine which exists purely as an excuse to show off a bunch of nearly naked women. I spent some time going through the stacks of them in the bottom of Junior's gun cabinet and there are no redeeming articles to justify the pictures which fall just this side of porn, in my opinion. Hey, I don't mind naked women as art and I can get just as high as the next person on the sexuality of a machine—I'm a great fan of HR Giger, for instance. And remember that poster of of the nude draped all over a motorcycle? Heaven. It was a challenge finding the work for this issue, but I do think we've met it head on with some interesting reading as a result. I imagined more hooters than we ended up with, but guess I'm slightly relieved.

Minerva Invicta

Sorry, Electra, but I can't imagine anyone getting that jazzed over a car or a name, though I've been saddled with pissers on both counts. My first name is also mythological and my last name means invincible. I'm not. A car is transportation, a means to deliver you from here to there and back. I know the value of paying someone else to work on them—and the futility of being involved with someone whose first love is a vehicle. Some of them are beautiful, but it is dangerous to let them take on too much importance. That's true about the cars, too.

In spite of my prejudice (and with a little help from Bob Arter), I managed to find some tasty links for your enjoyment, so after reading these great articles and stories, stop by for a cup of hot coffee and a delightful surfing session. You'll find Tasty Links on the main page under the Masthead or at the end of the poetry section. The featured poet, btw, is an exception to my rule about autophiles - what a sensitive hunk he is! Thanks to iggy, for delivering the goods yet again.

Oh, one more thing - check out the latest edition to PREVIOUS ISSUES on the Masthead (EXISTENCE IS FUTILE). We are working to bring more past issues to the web soon.

© E. Hemingray, W. Le Sabre and M. Invicta 2002

on to page three   

back to the front page