NERO LOLLYGAGGING WITH THE LEPERS
by Gary Cadwallader

I wake up under the statue of Nero Lollygagging With the Lepers. Don't remember a thing. One side of my clothes were removed with pinking shears. Someone has painted my left leg blue with a yellow stripe down the side like cavalry pants.

My name is Kilim Ri. My master and I are in Rome.

No cuts or bruises, but I smell like fish.

There are thirteen live anchovies in my right pants pocket. My toenails are pink. "Well that doesn't go with this leg painting at all. Someone has no taste."

I dump the anchovies by turning my one pocket inside out. They plop on the bricks looking like small silver bullets in wet circles.

My master calls, "Kilim, I believe I shall be ill." He pauses. "Do you know what happened last night?"

"Master acquitted himself with great aplomb."

"Really?"

"Oh, yes!"

"Wife doesn't have to know," my master says. He licks his lips. "Perhaps we should discuss a raise." Master is naked and handcuffed to one of the lepers.

"Could we avoid discussions with cook as well?"

"Quite," master says. He points with his nose. "You and cook?"

"Yes," I say.

"Ah, our little secret, then."

© Gary Cadwallader 2004

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